There was no specific reason for my absence. I was busy, yes, but as someone once told me, “You make time for those that are most important to you.” For the past few months I’ve allowed other things to masquerade themselves as important.
Who am I kidding?
The Mindy Project is important.
New Girl is important.
The People’s Couch…is a show I’ll only admit to watching on Twitter.
Anyway here’s another haiku.
A few girlfriends and I started a book club, and last night was our first successful meeting.
I have to say our hostess did a tremendous job! Not only did she have interesting and thought provoking questions ready for discussion; she also prepared the most adorable vampire themed spread for us. Oh, did I mention our first book was, Dead Until Dark?
I know what you’re wondering, and the answer is, “Yes. That is one of the True Blood books.”
And yes, the answer to your next question is also, “Yes. We were able to have a philosophical discussion about vampires AND telepaths.”
Before this goes on any further please note that all of your other questions will be answered in the same way our hostess answered questions, “Book 4…Chapter Six.”
No, seriously, I’m not kidding, Book 4: Chapter 6. You can thank us later.
Anyway, prior to our meeting one of the girls exclaimed, “Questions and WINE?! I LOVE grown up school!”
I have to agree. I LOVE grown up school too, especially when it involves wine. Which is why we’re about to explore a little grown up math.
Here is a little word problem for you.
If one gram of fat has 9 calories and one gram of protein has 4 calories and one gram of carbohydrate also has 4 calories then how does one glass of wine which is made up of 0 grams of fat, 0.1 grams of protein, and only 4 g of carbohydrates have 123 calories?
Now, I’m no mathematician. See “Mango Math” below.
But I feel like I am definitely missing something in this equation?
Based on my notes it would appear that:
123 cal = (0g fat x 9 cal) + (0.1g protein x 4 cal) + (4 g carbs x 4 cal)
But in reality that results in:
123 cal = 16.4 cal
Which isn’t possible AND means 106.6 calories are completely unaccounted for…
THIS IS SERIOUS PEOPLE!
Where are these other calories? What is making them and where are they coming from? Who is their daddy and what does he do? (Had to. #sorryimnotsorry)
Does this mean there are other secret calories lurking in my delicious treats that I don’t even realize I am consuming? Problem. Prob-lem. Are these the very same mysterious calories that are hiding in my closet and secretly sewing my clothes tighter? Or is this like some sort of caloric version of quantum theory? Basically, are my calories time traveling?
You can tell me. If they are sewing my clothes tighter, we’re in a fight. If they are time traveling we are not in a fight, but I do have a lot of questions about hoverboards and Deloreans, which I think is fair, given the circumstances.
But in all honesty can someone solve this grown up word problem? Any help is appreciated.
Oh, and Book 4, Chapter 6. You’re welcome.